KNOW YOUR SHIT

Words by Jessica Peace

Manure: what it’s good for, how to get your hands on it and what to do with it.

HAVING A BREAKDOWN

Basically, slapping ‘well rotted’ manure (yes, we do mean horse shit) onto your flower beds and allotment patches now means that it can act as ‘mulch’, a blanket of organic matter trapping in the last of the summer’s warmth and suppressing weeds; as well as allowing the nutrients from the manure - think of all that veg in a horse’s trough, to break down and be carried by the rains into your beds, feeding your roots and making them big, sexy and strong come spring, like a lovely legal steroid.

WRONG KIND OF FUNKY

Yes, it does f’in stink.

...But only like a festival toilet from a distance and this disappears within a fortnight max. Just get praying for rain, it makes the process faster.

FARMER WHO?

If you fancy picking up your manure clad in wellies and flat clap, lots of London’s city farms sell bagged up manure ready to go, otherwise your big hardware stores will do it. Don’t be shy, you want to be spreading it over your beds about 3 inches thick. Lovely.